Today, 8.1.2017, I had an Omegle chat, that I have failed to save, in more ways than one. It was with Stanley thousand miles away. At 6AM NYC time, the man knew me as Amelie who loved Adele and world. I knew the man as someone set to die, yet as someone who seemed to have known of the love of life. We parted in good way… as much as we could anyhow… both sad I believe. I heartbroken, he determined.
His upcoming plans were to leave for London, then Puerto Rico to end his life with the big S. On the island where it all began, where all his pain would come to the end. I am most heartbroken to have lost the record of the talk. For it was beautiful and eerie to walk the line with someone set to die, yet with someone who seemed to have seen joy in Life.
Stanley, you understood what it means of life to have consequences on others, on how the debt increases its weight in gold. I hope also on how sour coffee tastes, how crazy is the world. How beautiful the sunset and sunrise is and how leaves tremble and wind whispers and how sand blends into landscape so precious. He, who wanted to talk with poet and he who I hope made something crazy as only he could. And for you, sceptics out there that say „It´s Omegle, it´s lie“. After all, my name was a lie too… But for someone to spun a lie so eerie, so true?
Stanley, at the end, revealed that he is taking medication that does not help and that he went for MRI to see if he had cancer. I chose to believe, and for him, I hope he does have something that can be healed, yet he seemed to have seen the power the exquisite beauty in fact of being in charge of ending his life. Stanley, I wish I could have saved the log, I wish I could go there and say, look there is so much in the world! Look, I am here, you are here, you breathe I breathe. The world breathes! There is such vagueness in the concept of death, why do you want… why do you want to hurry? To expediate the mute button on the world???
I am heartbroken, leaving the little bit of it that will think of you.Whether you were a lie or whether you were true. As you asked, I will enjoy my life and count my blessings. Life of stress and life of treasures. I will have the coffee in your name in month. Because I hope you will give chance to life.
And damn, I will hunt thee down once the world for me is too done (which I plan to be in a very very distant time). Lie or truth, we will have a chat you strange one.