Dear Mr. With Unmistakably Slavic heritage.
Sir, I am not categorizing you because of your looks, heck majority of Slavs look little Nordic… 😉 I am categorizing you by the language you speak, as I myself am fluent in few of them and thus I understood your words. To be honest, majority of the journey I was convinced that you were Russian, but in the end I was little perplexed. Oh well, let me try this again…
Dear Mr. From That Particular Bus,
You will probably never read this, and if you do it is probable that you will not recognize yourself. But yes, it is indeed true that it is for once you to whom attention is intended. You are the center of this letter. I write for once, because that Particular Bus Journey was never about you. No matter how shocking that may be. Read on.
First of all Sir, you have my utmost admiration when it comes to your well of ideas, stamina and the voice you posses. The latter one is both strong and expressive and as majority of our fellow travelers saw you have immense amount of important knowledge to share. Pity that I and your companion were the only ones who understood you. However, please note for future application that not everyone is capable as your dear Masha(the lovely lady that sat next to you). We are just simple people, not equipped to take in your knowledge on: Jews, why you could never marry Masha and definitely all the political, economical issues. The debate about LGBT community at two o´clock in the morning is sometimes unattainable. Actually… sorry did I write debate? I stand corrected as it was you who was sharing ideas and information. I applaud the depth of your knowledge, but in these morning hours that I am writing this letter I could really be sleeping instead of praying for you to finally become equitably tired.
Shall we move on to our sleeping arrangements? Mr. I am Not Quite Sure Where Are You From we must begin that we share the same room. Area. Bus. Whatever. That means that your voice carries. Ups, that could have been in the paragraph above. Wow, I got carried away by the interminable speech about Ukrainian politics and the added “Masha, Masha” sequence was far from bearable. Really dude. Masha said so far about 15 words (yes, I am counting) and we are only about eight hours into our journey…
Returning to the intended topic. We are sharing the bus. You, Masha, little bit of me and Everyone else in this long-distance bus. That counts in those little kids. Yes them too. I am inclined to believe that you traveled zero kilometers in your childhood and do not truly understand how hard it is to keep 4,6 and 8 year old kids calm during such journey. Thus, it is widely understandable that you had slight difficulty with comprehending the actions of their parents. When people left the our shared vehicles and no one took over their seats those people decided to put their kids there. Outrageous right? One. Kid. Per. Two. Seats. Just so that they could lie down. And here the rest of us adults has to stay in sitting formation… I actually felt sorry for you bag when I heard your narration- and I totally get your point about needing more space- and your bag still had to stay in that cramped overhead compartment. Well duh, sorry bag… However, rest assured that those obtuse parents got your point, because though they might not understand your language as I do (and to this point I am still not sure what it is you are speaking) but they definitely got those theatrical appearances and arms movements and accusatory glances completed by the raised voice over their sleeping kids. Yep. That one is universal language.
Mr. Please Finally Sleep so that I do not have to finish writing this and I can return to sleep, you got up at our last stop (about 30 minutes ago), complained about needing more space and after ten minutes abandoned Masha. You moved 3 rows to the front. –I am now interrupting this part and warning you that please do not shout at three o´clock in the night bus! Continuing…- You moved, took over two seats, forced one newcomer to sit next to that pretty looking lady- kudos to you for playing cupid 😉 -. See… the thing is… that you returned to your former seat. It was in the time I took my computer out and got the idea to write to you. Just seconds before I asked Masha to push your abandoned seat forward, because man, “You cannot leave the seat reclined when you abandon it and someone is sitting behind it.” Do you want bus version of the reclined seats fight? (Please google-bing-search American reclined seats and rerouted planes ok? J)
Sir. You returned and started to talk. Mister. Please. This letter is to you Mr. From That Particular Bus. This letter is to you and to those similar to you. We exist in society of more than one (or occasionally two people) so let us all start behaving as such.
Person Who Had More Patience Than That Particular Bus Driver
P.S.: You actually left your stuff at those seats 3 rows further and you are sitting here at the back of the bus? And still talking… Oh you are leaving now? It is 5 o´clock in the morning. Bless your heart, have safe travels and a good night Sir.